Concertina Sketchbooks

For the past couple of months, and up until last week, I was unable to paint. I continued to feel a strong desire to create… but had absolutely no oomph to continue work on any of my paintings or projects. I found myself in an unfamiliar position… unable to pick up a paintbrush. That’s when I joined the Concertina Retreat, hosted by Suzie Chaney. It was one of the many artist challenges popping up on Instagram as the quarantine days took hold throughout the planet. So, I entered the world of concertina sketchbooks.

For those unfamiliar with a concertina sketchbook: all the pages are connected in one long strip that can fold up like an accordion into a book.

We received instructions on making the sketchbook and then one prompt a day for six days. (Some of the prompts were: botanical, the earth, all beings, and more.) Over the course of the week, I filled the pages with papers, printed text, and stitched threads. I was thankful for the new creative experience.

Front cover of Threads, a concertina book

When I began this project, I didn’t consider the idea of creating a visual connection from one page to the next. BUT, as soon as I began to construct page two, I found joy in the idea of a harmonious flow by using machine stitching and the same papers throughout. That’s when I got excited and engaged in the process.

I ended up adding a 7th page with it’s focus on Peace. Then the cover was completed on watercolor paper and sewn onto the front of the book. I love the way the threads look with all the pages hanging down when the book is closed.

First page of the 2nd concertina book, with a focus on Peace and Simplicity.

I was hooked on concertinas and began constructing a second. The last page of the first book became the jumping off point for the second book. Peace and Simplicity was the new theme, which seemed perfect for the times we are living in… and I decided to keep the color palette monochrome.

Our lives are so pared down now with a focus on the basics. It reminds me of camping. When we camp we have whatever we’ve brought with us and our needs and expectations are simple.

Simplicity in a single leaf. A page in the concertina Peace book.

I am grateful to have found joy and creative solace in the paper collage pages of these books. I’ve been collecting (and using) papers since high school with a large stash to choose from. So, they were readily available for this project.

During recent weeks, I could have focused on the uncomfortable feeling of being disconnected from my usual painting flow…. but instead, I found another method of creating, a new format to love, and each day in the studio became a new adventure.

To view all the pages of these books, along with videos, and to follow the progress of daily creative projects, visit my Instagram Page.

A tiny third concertina sketchbook.

Inspiration: To Spark Creativity

We come into the world with the desire and ability to create. It’s apparent in our imaginations, daydreams, ability to problem solve, and in our sense of play. Creativity is an innate force. Just watch the way children become immersed in their personal fantasies, dragging every nearby friend and inanimate object into their story. The foundation for this has been set before we take shape in a body. It’s natural for us to crave a connection with our creative spirit.

Mixed media painting in process.

Creativity can be expressed in every aspect of our lives not just in an artistic endeavor. As individuals, we choose whether to cultivate that creativity and how we do so.

However you choose to exercise your creativity, you can use the list below to spark ideas for a personal creative adventure. Dance or move, paint, draw, or collage, vocalize or compose music, garden or landscape, cook or bake, sculpt or build, sew or embroider.

Inspiration can be found everywhere, at any time, and in any form. You don’t know when or where inspiration will present itself. All that’s needed is to be open to the gifts that present themselves...in any moment. Anything can spark a creative idea. Anything can inspire creative exploration… a word, a single leaf, the flight of a bird, the colors of the trees against a clear blue sky, the light of a full moon shining on the landscape.

I hope the list below will help generate ideas as prompts for your creativity:

1. I’ll start with the simplest of all… Day Dream. Let your imagination run wild. See where it leads you.

Shadows are a great source of creative inspiration.

2. Notice the shadows, lines, shapes and colors right outside your front door or wherever you look.

3. Patterns found in nature. If you can’t find this outside your home then search for images online.

4. As you walk down the street, notice the way the angles of the buildings show up against the sky, may trigger an idea.

5. An interesting sentence or phrase, in a song or conversation, could stand out and inspire an entire short story, novel, or painting.

6. Idioms are wonderful creative triggers. Choose one that strikes your fancy and let it inspire you. Here are just a few to get you started: Water under the Bridge, The Ball is in Your Court, It’s a Small World, Keep an Eye on Him, Go Out on a Limb. The link above has a long list of idioms in alphabetical order.

7. Song titles can be very descriptive and offer a spark of inspiration. You could search for song lists on a specific subject, or top 100 songs in any given year. In writing this post I stumbled upon a list of songs with ridiculous titles. (They are actual songs!!)

8. Whenever you would like a creative boost, read a poem you resonate with… either from a book of poetry you have at home or from an online search. You might consider reading one poem each day for inspiration. With poetry, you enter the mind of the poet and see the world through their eyes.

9. Do people listen to radios anymore? This used to be one of my favorite ways to collect bits and pieces that might fit together in an interesting way. By turning the dial on your radio, you hear brief moments of broadcasting on each station. One or more of those snippets of music, lyrics, and conversation may become puzzle pieces to inspire a creative project. Now-a-days, it’s more likely that changing the TV channels would be more effective.

Creative inspiration can be found wherever you are. This was an exterior wall to an old weathered building. Looks like abstract art.

10. Search online for visual or written creative triggers by typing any word, phrase, or sentence into the search field. You never know what you might find. Don’t just rely on the first browser page that comes up. Check out what’s on the third page.

11. Visit a site like CreativityPortal.com which posts daily images with text, as prompts to inspire writing, art, and creative projects. You may choose to visit their site every day for a new prompt — 365 days a year. And they have an Imagination Prompt Generator with a line of text as a story starter or creative spark. Don’t like the prompt that shows up? Then refresh the page and a new one pops up.

12. Pinterest is a wealth of images on any subject. But be warned, it’s easy to lose track of time when you’re exploring that site. And while you are there, check out my WendyArtsStudio at Pinterest account.

13. Children’s picture books can be a great way to spark your creative flow. Check out my blog post - Inspiration: Children’s Books.

14. And keep a notebook or journal to record the abundance of creative sparks you come across during the day. Record the words, thoughts, quotes, poems, phrases, images, and more that zing you and are likely to motivate you to create.

JUST Create!!! Keep tools and materials easily accessible so you can play and explore. No need to hold back. This experience is for you. Create anything at any time for the pure joy of creating. Have fun!!

Note: This list was written with the understanding that the majority of people are currently sheltered at home. So I have left out a number of creative resources like the library which is one of my favorite places for developing new ideas. Once we are out and about I will plan to add another post.

Inspiration: Children's Books

Children’s books are a great source of inspiration. They offer the beauty of ideas, a creative flow of words, and artwork that’s a feast of colors and imagery. As adults, our minds are so cluttered with grownup tasks, pressures, expectations and personal business. I highly recommend taking a short holiday and explore the wonderful world of picture books.

You might choose a beloved favorite that brings you back to your own childhood or a new delightful find that enables you to connect with your inner child. Reading children’s picture books can soften the heart, put a smile on your face, and allow you to slow down your breathing. This is the perfect inner space to begin your own creative explorations.

These precious packages have the ability to transport us to a belief in ourselves and in the thought that anything is possible.

Years ago, I lived about 3 minutes away from a huge, new, and absolutely fabulous Barnes & Noble store, which happened to be open til midnight. Although I am not a late night person, I loved knowing that I could stop in anytime. Often, and with much delight, I would wander in for a mini creative vacation and spend time in the children's book section. I felt like a sponge, absorbing the colors, lines, and illustrations in these captivating parcels. My eyes would dance from cover to cover taking in all the artwork and titles. And best of all, they had ample seating for me to comfortably spend time with the picks of the night.

So, consider spending some time in the world of children's books and see if they inspire you. And with libraries closed during these quarantine days, if you don’t have any picture books at home, you can become immersed in the pages of books found at online bookstores.

The books appearing in the above image:

• The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear by Don and Audrey Wood

• The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

• Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

• The Tiny Seed by Eric Carle

• The Further Adventures of the Little Mouse Trapped in a Book by Monique Felix

• Where Once There Was a Wood by Denise Fleming

• Coyote and the Magic Words by Phyllis Root

• Giving Thanks by Chief Jake Swamp

This is a revision of a post originally published in 2013.

Love: A Morning Practice

With all that is going on in the world right now, and with a majority of people staying in place, this seemed like an ideal time to share a piece of my morning practice. For the past several years, I have been starting each day with love, then I carry the experience with me into my day. As you may suspect, it leaves me feeling wonderful.

The practice has evolved over the years as part of a larger morning routine. It began as statements within an I Am exercise… reciting to myself, “I am love, I am filled with love, I am surrounded by love, I am radiating love.” Meanwhile, I would visualize each statement as it crossed my mind. More and more, I began to experience the expansiveness carried with those words and this daily ritual grew over time.

The Love Practice: I start with a smile and bring to mind a memory or visual image that fills me with love and warmth. For example: I have often chosen to visualize the moment just after my daughter, Melissa, was born. Or I might imagine holding Melissa’s hand while I have the hand of a beloved aunt in my other hand. (She died many years ago before Melissa was born.) Then I let the strength of the love I feel for them fill me up, expanding beyond my physical being. I bask in the presence of love for a time, allowing it to strengthen. (It’s as if I’m being held within a protective, caring, and powerful bubble.) Then I send that love energy out to surround the planet and maybe also shared with specific people or locations. I am radiant!

In the past month, I have been visualizing love surrounding the corona virus, which I see as a mist hovering above the earth and when touched by the energy of love, the particles of the virus become pink. That’s just what I happen to have seen. You are likely to see something totally different.

In the past week, I have found myself combining my love practice with my gratitude practice and it has become more powerful, leaving me in tears. (tears of love and appreciation). Each morning, I choose one incident, experience, or person that I love, and then review the reasons I feel grateful for them. The heartfelt gratitude seems to empower the feelings of love, allowing me to fill a greater receptacle of love to send out into the world.

There are other parts of my morning practice, but they will have to wait to be shared in one or more posts in the future.

You may also be interested in, Joy: a Morning Practice

Hearts in the Art

“Love Sound” 6” x 6” mixed media on canvas. (Available through the Hearts for the Arts fundraiser.)

“Love Sound” in process.

As young children, we are introduced to the shape of the heart. It is recognized throughout the world as a symbol for love. I’m not normally one who paints hearts or adds the heart shape in my artwork. But… somehow, in the past couple of months I have produced two paintings with cloth hearts sewn into the design. Now that Valentine’s Day is only days away, I thought I would share them here.

Both paintings are part of the series of Ancient Wisdom Minis, designed around a quote from Kabir that includes a heart reference. (Kabir was a 15th century poet and mystic.) The canvases in the series are small (6” x 6”) acrylic paintings featuring words of wisdom from the past. The first step in the process is to cut, fray, and prepare the raw canvas that will create texture and form the focal point for the painting.

“Lift the Veil” 6” x 6” mixed media on canvas. SOLD

“Love Sound” is currently part of the Hearts for the Arts fundraiser being held at Artisans Gallery, in downtown Santa Cruz (details below). It displays the following quote: “The flute of the infinite is played without ceasing, and it’s sound is love.” ~Kabir.

“Lift the Veil” features these words: “Lift the veil that obscures the heart, and there you will find what you are looking for.” ~Kabir

The 2020 Hearts for the Arts fundraiser benefits the Santa Cruz Arts Council’s arts education programs (SPECTRA and Mariposa Arts). The donated works are currently on display at Artisans as part of a silent auction for the first 13 days in February (bidding begins on February 1st and closes on February 13th).

For those in the area: The auction will be part of the First Friday Art Tour on February 7th and the Arts Council will host an Artists’ Reception from 3-5 on Sunday, February 9th.

I plan to be there on Sunday. Maybe I’ll see you there!!

Painting Doesn’t Take a Holiday

"Effervescence" 20" x 20" acrylic mixed media on canvas.

Tomorrow is the first day of February and I am spending time today, reflecting on the experience of painting during Thanksgiving week. Somehow I managed to shop, cook, entertain, and still complete a painting while also preparing for a studio show just one week later. On that Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving Day, I was busy in the kitchen preparing food for a small family feast. But while the veggies were sauteing and in between cooking the various dishes, I was in the studio adding paint to my latest creation. I managed to embed studio time in a day focused on cooking. By the end of the day, I felt nearer to actually being able to complete the painting I had begun more than a year before. Then, while other people spent Black Friday shopping, I was able to work on and finish up that painting.

"Effervescence" in process. Sewing the painted cloth onto the stretched canvas.

“Effervescence” was inspired by a vision I had of the mist created when opening up a bottle of carbonated water. Each mist particle represented one of us and we were all connected in this sea of bubbles, swirling around one another, playing our role in the whole of our shared existence. We were one, together, rather than individuals, separate from the whole.

I began working on “Effervescence” in the fall of 2018, almost immediately after the concept took shape in my mind. But soon after I painted the two cloth layers, I put it aside with too many ideas on how it might be developed. Over a year later, a friend encouraged me to return to the painting. And I’m so glad she did. It was only then that I had the idea for the background to mimic the cutouts in the top cloth. So I got busy cutting holes in paper before adhering the paper to the back canvas. That’s when I was finally able to move the painting forward towards completion.

"Effervescence" in process after adding the cut paper to the stretched canvas background.

I added the finishing touches with a quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe... "In nature we never see anything isolated, but everything in connection with something else which is before it, beside it, under it, and over it."

“Effervescence” and I took a journey together and I embrace the bond developed in the process. A relationship is created between the artist and his/her creation. When I’m working on a painting, it’s as if a dialog develops between us, with the painting sharing its needs, making suggestions, providing guidance. All I have to do is be open to listening. We spend time in the studio together. It’s a shared experience. And when a painting takes longer to complete, the opportunity is there to create a closer bond, just as in any relationship. “Effervescence” was signed and wired in time for the studio show and it was one of the first to be sold.

And…I have to just add: For an artist, any day is a day to create, whether it’s a weekend, vacation day, or even the week of a major holiday.

Becoming a Blank Canvas

I’ve been taking part in Tara Leaver’s Instagram Challenge… 21 Days in My Art World. Tomorrow is day 11 and the prompt is: Turning Point. I’ve decided to share the experience that placed me on the path of creating the Transcriptions Series. With this in mind, I thought it applicable to re-post an article I published a few years ago on the Shared Easel Newsletter. Here it is:

2016 was the year I "birthed" a new series and grew myself in the process. I believe it all began with the adventure of dismantling the old and opening the doorway to something new.

I entered the year believing it was a time of wonderful possibilities - that I could create anything I wanted and make anything happen. I had the power to create!... But the question was, "What did I want to create?"

I was determined to release any and all past creative goals and open to a new creative vision, unfettered by my prior ideas and expectations. I wanted to wipe the slate clean so I could see what I might create now. First I would need to clear away years of stuffed and stored creative project ideas. I have always had more ideas than the time and ability to create. Most have remained stored in my inner closet, occasionally reminding me they were still there. It was time to finally clear out that closet and release the old notions conceived by a no longer existing me.

Over the course of several days I converted our living room into a brainstorming space. I taped sheets of newsprint paper all over the windows, door, and furniture. With markers and pens, I generated lists of:

• old expectations and projects ideas

• creative ideas that were already begun

• my past successes and achievements

• my skills and abilities that I can draw upon in anything I choose to do moving forward

• my hopes and dreams

• positive affirmations to fuel the new

• I Am statements (examples: I Am Fearless, I Am Grateful... )

• some ideas of things I might consider getting involved in or find a passion for

• and more

"Transcriptions #1 - Lokah Samastah”
12" x 12" Mixed media on canvas.

The main goal was to make myself a blank canvas for what I might create in the year ahead (and allow new ideas and creations to unfold). I'd say it worked out pretty well and led to the development of the Transcriptions Series of paintings!

(This was originally published on April 2017 in the Shared Easel Newsletter.)

Note: In the months that followed my brainstorming days, a series of new experiences, ideas, and materials came together to form a new way of working and a new series. I ended up producing 30 paintings in that series, which has led to all the work that followed. I’m so very grateful for those days in February 2016 and going with my inner guidance to become a blank canvas at that time.

Not Every Week is About Painting

As artists, we would love to spend all our days in the studio, in creative mode. The tasks of promoting ourselves, looking at our art career as a business, and managing websites takes us away from what we would prefer to be focused on. But somehow I’ve begun to enjoy it.

This past week has been tremendously busy, highly productive, and filled with joy. It was a week of putting ideas, new and old, into action. Instead of sending an invitation for my upcoming studio show out to just locals, I decided to include additions that might be of interest to the entire mailing list. So, my focus was on developing the first Shared Easel Giveaway and setting up a new gallery of recent works that would only be available to subscribers.

To accomplish these tasks, I had to spend many, many hours of computer time and very long days (out of the studio). I was so focused on completing everything by a certain date that I kept forgetting to eat. The funny thing was, I found myself dancing around the house in joy, nonetheless. I was feeling good about my accomplishments, great about pulling off one idea after another (In some ways, not so unlike painting).

Once the invitations went out, I still needed another invitation for non-subscribers and then had to get busy ordering mats, prints, and frames to arrive in time for the show.

As I write this on Sunday morning, I am thankfully in the studio, with a bit of time to develop a few of the works in progress. The week was exhilarating but I wouldn’t want every week to replicate this type of activity. I’m ready for the opportunity to play with my paints before gearing up for the show. (Oh!! And once all of the mats, frames, and prints arrive I’ll have lots more to do!!!)

I’m so grateful to be able to experience life as an artist.

Street Scenes

As I reflect on this year’s art explorations, one of the experiences that stands out is the group of paintings completed at the very end of the 100 Day Project. To close out the project, I played with a series of Street Scenes, painted in a new way, with a very blue color palette.

"Street Scene" 6" x 6" acrylic and color pencils on paper.

It was the painting I posted on the 82nd day of the project that inspired me to create this little mini series. Using black paint, I had made some quick lines and marks to start it off… but then I had absolutely no idea how it was going to develop. Totally by accident, I stumbled upon an image of the Moroccan village of Chefchaouen. The lines in the photo were unbelievably close to the lines of the undeveloped painting sitting before me! And I loved the idea of having fun with that color palette… blues and orange!

Three Street Scenes at different stages of development

So, during the last nine days of the project, my focus was on painting more images inspired by the blue walled streets of Chefchaouen.

These works took me down a path I never would have traveled if I had continued art-making as usual, without the months of exploration. I'm thrilled to have given myself the opportunity to take this intermission, to explore new ideas, and create works on paper. So curious to see how these experiences "color" the work I do moving forward.

At the time, I wondered if I would end up painting more Street Scenes at some point, larger in size and on canvas. During my recent trip to France, I took photos of street views wherever I went, just in case I one day decided to create similarly focused paintings. Of course, they would inspire a different color palette. I don’t have any plans to do so at this time but the creative door is always open.

Wisdom of Kabir

Ancient Wisdom Mini series

A couple of weeks ago, I began a new mini series as part of a seven day Instagram art challenge established by the wonderful, Tara Leaver. I decided to use the week to step back into playing with canvas after a half year intermission of just creating works on paper. After considering a few other project ideas, I chose to paint 6” x 6” acrylic paintings, first prepared with cut and frayed canvas cloth, and each one featuring a short quote from the 15th century mystic and poet, Kabir.

The process combines the Ancient Wisdom and text of the Transcriptions series along with the use of cloth in the Canvas on Canvas paintings.

The prepared canvases before they are painted.

This project was perfect to get me back into my flow again and reconnect with stretched and raw canvas… by cutting it, shaping it, and stringifying it before any paint touches the surface. (In case you’re wondering, stringifying is not a word but it perfectly describes what I love to do with raw canvas.)

“The Release” 6” x 6” mixed media on canvas

Since creating the six small canvases for the mini challenge, I’ve completed two more and I'm confident I'll be adding to the Ancient Wisdom series with larger pieces. I’ve also begun to collect the words of those who have touched the hearts of generations through the centuries… Rumi and Hafez to name a couple. I'm looking forward to seeing what unfolds from here.

The Ancient Wisdom Minis can be found at the Canvas on Canvas gallery on my website.

And… Check Out the art created by the other participants of the 7 day mini series. Tara Leaver did a great job of posting the work on her blog.

A Frustrating Day in the Studio

I don’t have too many frustrating days in the studio. I guess you can say, I am spoiled. I’m used to getting an idea and playing with it, getting into a flow and experiencing the process as the guidance comes easily and the joy of creating fills the studio. But I had a day that was unlike any other.

My first effort just didn’t come together at all! The focus was on a new way of working with canvas cloth. I was feeling excited and looking forward to waking up and exploring an idea I’ve thought about for a couple of years. This was going to be the day I finally brought it into physical form. (no great expectation there!!)

After a couple of hours of nothing happening, I moved onto a variation on the original idea (plan B). It too was a no go. I could not seem to get anything off the ground. So I let it all go and went for a whole new focus, working on paper rather than canvas. (Plan C?) But, still wrestling with the earlier goal, I soon found myself returning to try out another approach.

What a yo-yo experience!! Although I seemed to have moved the project a step forward, once again the idea had no traction. Luckily, it was time to meet a friend for a walk. That forced me to step aside and step out of the studio. In preparing to leave the house, I suddenly came up with an ideal alternative project. It became easy to drop all the plans I had for the day and turn my attention to a totally different focus.

“The Merge” - a painting in process

That night I prepared 5 canvases with cloth and was ready to begin painting the first in the series the next morning. It may have been a frustrating day but a new series was born and the steps I took and my willingness to keep trying became the stepping stones for work that will come together in the future.

The 100 Day Project

“Explorations” series in process.

I was just beginning a new mini-series when I learned of the 100 Day Project on Instagram and it peeked my interest. As I write this, it is day 24 and I had committed to creating 25 pieces in the “Explorations” series to get me started. For the “Explorations” paintings, I’m using magazine images to inspire a daily exercise on pieces of 6” x 6” canvas paper.

My focus for the 100 days: I absolutely love to paint on canvas, raw or primed, stretched or unstretched. So, since this project is designed to take me out of my comfort zone, instead, I will be creating (mostly) small works on PAPER. I intend to play with paint, some collage, pastels, pencils, and any other materials or process I can have fun with.

I see the time spent on this project as an intermission between the work I've done in the past and what I will create in the future.

I'm curious to see how far I will go in this. One hundred days takes us to JULY! I don't know if I'll complete the full 100 days, but for now it’s my daily focus, allowing me to stretch my creative muscles.

The project came up for me at the perfect time… just as I was taking a break from producing paintings on canvas and instead finding and exploring various ways to develop and grow as an artist. It ties into my current need to play, experiment, and try new things.

Note: The artwork shown above is a selection of 9 pieces from the “Explorations” series. And at this time, I know I will be creating ten additional minis as part of that collection. Posts for the 100 day project and “Explorations” can be found and followed on Instagram and on my Facebook artist page.

The Explorations Mini Series

“Explorations” mini series, paintings on paper.

I began a new mini series on the first day of April… the “Explorations series.” This group of small paintings was inspired because of spring cleaning. After spending time clearing out my parent’s home, I came back to my house and immediately began to clean out drawers and cabinets.

One cabinet was filled with magazines. I don’t think I’ve ever thrown out a magazine. There must have been somewhere around 70 magazines in that cabinet. Many of them had been cut up and used when my daughter was younger, for collages and creative projects. It was time for that pile to go. They’ve been taking up space for years. But first I wanted to flip through the pages of each magazine… and as I did so, I was inspired to create one more project with them.

“Explorations” series in process.

I began pulling out any page with an image or part of an image that I found interesting. The magazines went into the recycle bin and I ended up with a fairly good sized pile of pages to consider using in some way. Before I knew it, I had glued one or more pieces of an image onto eight 6” x 6” sheets of canvas paper. They were ready to be painted.

The Goal: for the attached magazine image to inspire and challenge me to create something new each day. The “Explorations” give me an opportunity to shake things up, experience a personal art exercise. and see where it might lead.

“Explorations #12” 6” x 6” mixed media on paper.

My original intention was to complete ten of these and then decide if I wanted to continue. But the day I posted the first one, I decided to join the 100 day project on Instagram and made a commitment to create 25 in the series.

Posts for the 100 day project and the “Explorations” can be found and followed on Instagram and on my Facebook artist page.

In the next blog-post, I will share more about the project.

On Letting Go

The concept of letting go has been in the forefront of my mind since this year began. Letting go is a process. It is likely to take place in stages rather than all at once. And it is up to us to allow or invite the process to work through us.

Doors to new experiences and discoveries can more easily open when we let go of expectations, ideas, or the replaying of our personal stories. We may find that our way of being in the world has been altered. Letting go is our way of releasing tightly held beliefs, goals, or even the hands of a loved one.

Years ago, I often visualized the letting go process based on my experiences sitting and meditating at the Esopus Creek, in Mt. Tremper, New York. I would envision myself laying in a narrow stream, holding onto a rock or log, trying to fight against the current. In doing so, all of the leaves, twigs, and debris being carried down the stream would build up against me. This added to my struggle as the increase in weight intensified my burden. But… By no longer fighting the current, I could float down the stream with ease, experiencing greater peace.

My Recent Experiences:
This year seems to be a year of letting go. On January 1st, I let go of my Dad, and the ability to ever hold his hand again. On January 8th, I watched my Mom slip away from life to join him. Throughout January, I let go of my goals and plans for the month to allow myself to begin the grieving process and be whatever I needed to be in each moment. In February, I let go of my creative expectations and embraced new ideas, changes in color palette, and a new approach to my paintings. In March, I had to let go of my parent’s belongings as I went through their home, packing their stuff to giveaway or donate. I shipped a small selection from New York to California and had to dig deep to let go when some of those things arrived damaged or destroyed.

All of this letting go, seems to be leading to new perspectives. And I must say, I am ready for these changes. I feel like I’m one of those spring blossoms about to burst open.

Now, in April, I have let go of the artwork I am accustomed to in order to create new artistic experiences. I plan to share much of this creative journey as it unfolds. In fact, since April 1st, I’ve been posting pieces of a new mini series on Instagram and on my Facebook artist page. I will also be sharing more, right here, in future blog-posts.

Managing Grief after Losing My Parents:
I am letting go of their physical presence in my life, but the rich memories, love, and growth that I experienced throughout the years remain very much alive within me. That’s what I will carry with me in each moment moving forward. I know that I am who I am because of their presence in my life.

Holding my Mom’s hand just hours before she died.

So each day, I let go of holding onto them. I let go of any need to perpetuate the grief, instead allowing the ebb and flow of emotions as they arise. (They definitely arise!) And regardless of any grief I will experience over the coming weeks, months, and years, I want to let them be fully present in whatever realm their spirits now reside. In turn, I allow myself to move into a new world of experiences, with curiosity in how the empty spaces created by their vacancy will be filled. I openly invite the changes that continue to take place.

Breath and Beyond

“Breath and Beyond” 12" x 12" acrylic, cloth, threads, and paper on canvas.

“Breath and Beyond” was the first painting I worked on and completed after returning from packing up my parent’s home. (We were getting it ready for sale.) Although I returned with several new projects in mind, I decided to get busy with the raw canvas I had prepared before leaving. My first goal was to create a thread filled environment in which to paint.

“Breath and Beyond” in process.

I began by sewing lines of stitches in something of a checkerboard pattern, leaving loose threads at the ends of each line. I had already cut five squares into the cloth before the trip.

“Breath and Beyond” didn’t develop as I had originally envisioned. So, I let go, allowing the process to lead me, and I was able to enjoy every step along the way.

I kept adding color, then some text, and then more color. The background canvas became a deep brownish mauve to peek through the openings in the cloth.

The text in the painting is the mantra, So Hum, meaning: "I Am That." It is used in meditation as one focuses on their breath.

“Breath and Beyond” in process.

I always have a title in mind by the time a painting is complete… but not this time. The painting had journeyed so far from the original idea and I felt like I was just along for the ride, not knowing where we were going. I had to brainstorm ideas for a name.

When the title, “Breath and Beyond” came to mind, I knew it was right. I could see how the painted cloth had become a tapestry OR a tapestry of life. I had chosen a mantra that represents the breath OR breath of life. And the cutouts had become windows to the beyond.

Breath and Beyond is available for purchase, here.

“Breath and Beyond” in process. Sewing the painted cloth to the back canvas.

Small Bites

Small Bites 12" x 12" acrylic and cloth on canvas.

A dream became the inspiration for Small Bites… an original painting that is now part of my Canvas on Canvas series. First I prepared the piece of raw canvas by fraying the edges and cutting out holes in the cloth. I attached it to the stretched canvas and then it was time to take out the acrylics and brushes and choose some colors.

Small Bites in process. Choosing the color palette.

Choosing the color palette:

I only had a vague idea of the colors I would use. So, I began with one of my favorite starter color palettes: yellow oxide, titanium white, and Payne’s grey. (Oh, but since I have very little Payne's grey around, I'm using ivory black.) I love the way these colors mix together!

Now I had to choose the rest of the colors. I have a small collection of color cards that I’ve created and add to from time to time. I find it very helpful in choosing a color palette when I don't have one immediately in mind. I went back and forth on different color ideas for this one.

It took me a while to get comfortable with the reds I had chosen, but I really like the idea of stretching my “color comfort zone.” And by the time I was finished, I had grown much more comfortable with the reds in this color palette. (0f course, I did soften the intensity of the color, somewhat.)

Small Bites is available for purchase, here.

Painting with the Kaddish

"Kaddish 1" 12" x 12" acrylic, paper, string, and cloth on canvas.

With the recent loss of my parents, it seemed the perfect time to create a painting with a focus on the Kaddish, a Hebrew prayer often referred to as the Mourner’s Kaddish. I have always loved the flow of rhythmic sounds as these Hebrew words are recited aloud, particularly in a group. There is a cadence to these sounds that becomes a shared journey.

Text strips prepared for “Kaddish 1”

First, I spent a day preparing strips of canvas cloth for the lines of text I would be using in the painting. I probably created enough strips to produce multiple paintings. Hence, the name Kaddish 1.

Detail of “Kaddish 1”

While working on Kaddish 1, I never had a clear vision of where it was going. The painting seemed to keep showing me what my next steps were in it’s development. It took some time before the design layout for the text strips became clear. You might be able to see how the strips are not laying flat, but each one has an area which is raised up (image down below). And… I have to say, I became quite jazzed at the idea of adding the three lines of text to the left side of the background canvas, after placing single rows of text on the other three sides.

For now, this painting will remain with me and won’t be available for purchase. But I do plan to do more like it.

Detail of “Kaddish 1”

Twas Brillig

“Twas Brillig” 24” x 30” Acrylic, canvas cloth, and paper on canvas.

Detail image of “Twas Brillig”

Painting brings me joy. I love my time in the studio and the relationship I develop with each of my creations… but once and awhile I create something that significantly increases the joy. “Twas Brillig” did just that. It turned up the “Joy Meter” and I was in no rush to complete it. I found myself savoring every moment I spent playing with this canvas.

For years I have wanted to create a painting with a focus on Lewis Carroll’s, Jabberwocky. I have loved it since high school. In fact, in one of my art classes back then, we had to illustrate a children’s book for a painting and drawing class. I chose to illustrate The Jabberwocky. (Thank you, Mr. Foo)

Closeup of the attached book on “Twas Brillig”

I so enjoyed playing with the text of the poem as I incorporated Carroll’s unique and wonderful words into the constructed cloth book. I took my time developing the background of the stretched canvas that became the setting for the “book.” This one gave me an opportunity to explore with color and structure.

Detail image of “Twas Brillig”

My original goal was to, in some way, allow the words of Lewis Carroll to spill from the book, as if the boundaries of the books could not contain it. I would love to do more canvases like this one. Playing with text as it pours from the painting surface. These are the types of images that keep coming up in my mind, calling to be created.

I enjoyed every moment I spent on this painting. And I can’t help but wonder if this one may be something of a bridge between the work that has come before and the artwork I will be creating, moving forward. I definitely approached the painting process differently than I might have in the past… and that had been my goal.

Here are the words of the first and last stanzas of the poem for those of you unfamiliar with Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll and for those who would enjoy a reread:

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.”

Twas Brillig is available for purchase, here.

Above and Below

“Above and Below” 12” x 12” Acrylic and canvas cloth on canvas.

After a couple of months away from the studio, it was so good to hold a paintbrush in my hands again. To get back into the flow, I chose to play with a work in progress I had begun awhile ago. It had been waiting for months for me to return to complete it. Back then, I had cut a piece of raw canvas cloth and gessoed it onto a 12" x 12" canvas. The cutouts were inspired by Georgia O'Keefe's clouds.

This was the perfect project for my return and I so enjoyed the process. I didn’t care how it turned out. All that mattered was the delight of being busy in the studio.

“Above and Below” in progress.

Originally, I had a whole different color palette in mind when I first attached the cut cloth to the canvas, months ago. But now is a different time and place. So, the process of painting this one took me on an unexpected path. I like watching as paintings unfold before me. And I'm delighted to be back in process.

Inspired by: Georgia O'Keefe's, "Sky Above the Clouds"

Above and Below is available for purchase, here.

Losing Both My Parents

My parents holding hands during one of my mom’s visits to my dad’s hospital room. The wonderful hospital staff helped make sure they visited one another every day.

Two months ago today, my dad died in a hospital room, at age 94. Exactly one week later my mom took her last breath in a similar room just a few rooms away. She would have celebrated her 90th birthday a few weeks later. After 70 years of marriage, they were still choosing to do everything together.

I’m finding that in order to move on and begin to share art related posts again on this blog, I have the need to first share this loss. The experience of watching both parents slip away was powerful and the loss is life altering. I can already see changes in the way I approach my paintings and my life. In recent weeks, I’ve needed time to hibernate and step back from “life as I knew it.” I’ve been taking one step at a time and easing myself back into the world. In writing this today, it is a step forward.

Helen and Ruby on their Wedding Day, 1949

I was so very fortunate to have both parents in my life for so many years. I so appreciate the abundance of love and support I always received from them. Their enthusiastic response, anytime we shared details of new ventures, accomplishments, possibilities, and experiences, was a continuous gift to the whole family. They made it easy and joyful to share anything and everything with them.

And how they loved each other!! I believe they lived as long as they did because of their commitment to one another. And being in their presence, you just could not help but be drawn into the vortex of love and gratitude vibrantly operating between the two of them. It’s no wonder they seemed to have fans wherever they went… and of course, they always went together.

For years, my brother and I hoped that our parents would somehow be able to leave this world at the same time or shortly after one another. We knew it would be too painful for either of them to be left behind without the other. They orchestrated their exit pretty well. They were miraculously admitted to the hospital on the very same day, for different reasons. During their final days, they were surrounded by loved ones and managed to visit one another each day. When they were able, they held hands, blew each other kisses, and continued to touch the lives of those around them.

We witnessed and experienced a whole lot in those weeks, including many precious moments. I know I will miss them deeply, but I am so glad that neither of them has to continue life without the other. Their love story continues.

What a gift it has been to have had so many years with my loving parents and to have been a witness to their love and commitment to one another!

Mom and Dad doing what they loved most - sharing a meal with their family. 2016